A Xeno's View of Greece and Greeks Part 2: Clash of the Frypans – Release the Gyro!

Previously on "A Xeno's View"…… I met my beautiful bride-to-be, was introduced to her enormous family, and began my assimilation into Greek-American culture (for a recap, check out the blog archive for Part 1….)

When at last I was deemed worthy by my wife's family, I was shown some philoxenia (hospitality +) and offered a drink, or some bread and feta, some soup, or leftover pastitsio from that night's dinner. It wasn't long until the real love affair began – with Greek food. The seafood: fried and grilled kalamari, grilled marinated octopus, shrimp giouvetsi, fresh grilled fish, sea urchin, raw clams and mussels, taramoslata (a creamy fish roe spread). The meats: keftedes (lamb and beef meatballs), loukaniko (sausage), lamb, goat, marinated roasted chicken, kontosouvli (marinated grilled pork). A special mention here to two Greek staples, and two fine examples of "street food": souvlaki and gyros. Nothing is as tasty as a souvlaki from Thanasi's in Monastiraki, Athens. And gyros – I don't know what the hell is in those things, what conglomeration of mystery meats they press together and then shave off of a pole, but damn is it good!

Now as I was saying…The vegetables: fresh Greek salad, fakes (lentil soup), fasolada (bean soup), imam bayaldi (stuffed eggplant), horta (dandelion greens), roasted potatoes, stuffed peppers and tomatoes, green beans in spicy tomato sauce. The pasta: pastitsio, makaronia me kema, orzo. All made with delicious olive oil, fresh Greek oregano and/or healthy amounts of garlic and lemon.

I have come to enjoy Greek food so much that I eat the stuff that even Greeks don't eat – patsa (tripe), magiritsa (see below), kokoretsi (lamb offal wrapped with intestine and grilled), lambs brains and eyeballs (all Easter favorites). The first time I went to my wife's family's house for Easter, I really wanted to try the magiritsa. For those of you who don't know, this is a very rich soup that consists of lamb meat and all of the lamb's organs that is traditionally served at Easter as a way to recoup all of the oil and fat people have forgone during their 40-day Lenten fast. As I walked back to the table with my bowl of hot soup, I was approached several times by members of my wife's family asking, "You do know what's in that, right?", and "Ewww, you're going to eat that? Nobody eats that. Only the old people!" Well, I do, and I love it. It's one of the reasons that Greek Easter is among my favorite holidays.

My wife's aunt has always been very nice to me, and has always wanted to feed me. Plus she can cook her kolos off, which doesn't hurt. I would learn that this is the way Greeks are, and there is no way to tell a Greek woman "no" when she puts food in front of you. You have to have at least a little bit, or you will actually hurt her feelings. I remember when we visited Greece for the first time, we were invited to one of the myriad aunt and uncle's homes for "dessert" at around 10pm. They knew we were coming over after dinner. They knew we had to get up early the next morning to go on some tour, or catch a flight to one of the islands or whatever the case was. Regardless, we were given beer, wine and mezedes upon arrival: dolmadakia (stuffed grape leaves), spanakopites (spinach pies), tiropites (cheese pies), fresh bread with delicious feta and melitzanosalata (garlic and eggplant spread). This was followed by the main course of pasta carbonara, with dessert and coffee finally reaching the table sometime after 1am. There was no refusing any of this. It would be rude to do so, and these people were so genuinely happy to see us and feed us that I would feel like a complete jerk to turn any of their hospitality down. This has been the case with my wife's family at every event I have ever attended.

My parents got their first taste of this when we took them to meet my wife's family for the first time one Christmas. Again, this was supposed to be light food and desserts, which of course meant a full spread of Greek and American favorites followed by honey-drenched and powder-sugar-covered Greek desserts. I told my mother a little secret: put a little of everything on your plate and spread it around so the sauces cover the whole surface and it looks like you ate a lot. I have found this to be the only defense against a Greek family hell-bent on stuffing your face to the point of gastrointestinal illness. You can show your dirty empty plate and smile in lieu of trying to futilely explain to your native-Greek-speaking hosts that, "I really can't eat anymore because I'm going to throw up!", only to have them not understand a word you say and promptly offer you more of everything while saying, in broken English, "O-K, O-K, Good! Eat more?"

Σας ευχαριστώ για την επίσκεψη
(Thank you for visiting)

Next Month, Part 3 – What? You No Speak-a the Greek?