So, fifteen years after meeting this Greek girl who I thought was Hispanic, what part do I play in my new Greek-American family? Where do I fit in? Well, I am tremendously proud of my own heritage, and the fact that I can trace my descendents back to England and Scotland, Germany and Bohemia (part of the present-day Czech Republic). My parents asked a family friend to do our genealogy, and I love that we discovered that I have roots on this continent going back to the 1600s. But despite all of that, being of “mixed” ancestry and having no real ties to the old country left me feeling a little empty in the heritage department. And while I love my family and would not wish to have grown up any other way, I’d often thought about what it would be like to be part of a big family. Well, marry a Greek and wonder no more, my friends. I now have an entire side of my family that is a living, breathing connection to the motherland; a land that I have become extremely fond of and attached to myself. I now have around 400 Greek aunts, uncles, in-laws, and cousins here and in Greece, all of whom I could depend on as though I have known them my whole life. I most definitely feel I am a part of the Greek half of our family, and I thank them for accepting me into their world.
So now when our sons look at their family tree, the branches will stretch farther into Europe, dipping southeast towards the Mediterranean and the home of their mother and her ancestors. My hope is that when they look at their family tree, they will see in Greece and its people what I have come to see. I will certainly do my best to fill in all the branches so they (and I) can better know who came before them on that side of their family. Although we are far from Greece, I want our kids to know that they come from Greece as much as they come from America, and to learn about and appreciate the Greek culture, language, and history. As a result of this process, I hope to be able to delve deeper into my own roots. I have visited one site in Scotland where one of my ancestors fought (and lost to) Oliver Cromwell during the English Civil War and was shipped over to Maryland as an indentured servant in 1650. Perhaps we can visit parts of Germany and the Czech Republic to see where some of my other people came from. Maybe a visit is in order to the small villages of England, and the ports from which many of my forebears embarked on their journey to a new life here in America.
But there's a fine line to walk, in my opinion, when you are attempting to soak up and participate in a foreign culture. I feel a responsibility to always keep in mind that I am not Greek, no matter how much I enjoy being a part of a Greek family. Not that I necessarily want to be something I am not. I didn't share the same experiences as my wife's family growing up, and hearing about those experiences from friends and family isn’t enough to make me part of the club. My family didn’t live through Nazi occupation, recent civil wars, military dictatorship, genocide, and mass exodus as so many Greek families have during the past century. I always make sure I don't go "too far" in my attempts to assimilate into the culture. I know my limits. I respect the Greek culture too much to pretentiously impose myself upon it and insert myself into it. Am I a part of what my wife's family does? Absolutely, and I love every minute of it. But unless (and even if) I one day move to Greece, work and raise my family there, and live the day-to-day life of a Greek, I will always be an outsider, and that's fine with me. I feel extremely lucky to have the opportunity to be part of a Greek family and the culture that goes with it; to learn a second language, to raise my kids with an awareness and appreciation of their Greek heritage. I am fortunate enough to be able to travel to Greece and see my wife's (my) family there, to see the extraordinary natural beauty of the land and the remarkable historical sites and to feel the spirit of a very resilient people. But I am always mindful that I am experiencing all of this as a xeno. A very grateful xeno.
Σας ευχαριστώ για την επίσκεψη (Thank you for visiting)
Todd
Todd
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